I’m only giving updates to friends.
the month of friday: suspense
it was close to our change of shift when it happened. one of the things i find odd about myself is that i have a tendency to walk into the wrong end of conversations and that just what happened… i walked in on a conversation that i wasn’t supposed to hear partly because higher ups don’t believe we should hear stuff until it’s time and or absolutely necessary for us. that’s the problem with being the low man on the totem pole in a work place swimming with higher ranked people. suddenly the announcement was made, we were all to gather outside to hear the official news about our estimated return time. i never felt like this in a long time. it was like i was waiting for my grades from a really hard semester of school. my heart couldn’t stop beating hard, i was excited, scared, happy, and nervous all at once. my commanding officer stepped out of his work tent and…………………***to be continued***
1/4 thru friday
wow… for once i’m sitting here trying to think of something to type
up but i can’t really come up with anything. i guess i figured things
would be different but really things never really do change. or if
there are any changes it’s hard to see because it’s not the kind of
change we were looking for. do you ever feel like that sometimes? i
guess life’s weird like that. maybe everything is just too routine.
maybe i’ve been day dreaming too much. just the other day i looked at
my watch and it said 11 p.m. and i just kept on staring at the time
because i brain farted on how to tell time. or maybe it’s my lack of
sleep from forcing myself to wake up earlier because i’ve been craving
breakfast and that’s causing me to get up earlier to go eat. XP yeah i
guess it’s the simple things about normal life that i miss. stuff like
real milk, not that preserved processed stuff that they give us. I
miss eating pancakes. of all things… pancakes?! i rarely eat that
stuff. i guess the whole me waking up earlier is just my futile
attempt to remember what it was life to live life normally like back
home. i started up running again to help take off the edge but nothing
beats the beach. the way i felt free when i was surfing. the way how
surfing made me feel like everything that was bothering me washed
away. all i know is soon, the guys who got here first will be leaving,
and soon our replacements will arrive. I can’t help but feel like i’m
at the home stretch of the race but also at the beginning at the same
time. i feel like i’ve gone beyond running on fumes. maybe i just need
to scream. XP haha! yeah maybe that’s it. maybe i just need to
rediscover my spark. who knows… or maybe it’s just that it’s been a
while since i’ve worked on my secret project. yeah… that’s it…
The Month of Friday: Promotion Special
I always imagined that the day I got promoted would be a grand day for
me. I also envisioned that it would be an event that my family would
get to witness. Today I remained indifferent about being promoted for
a number of reasons but the biggest two was because it wasn’t as I
hoped it would be since my family couldn’t see it, it also wasn’t what
I hoped it would be because the two people I wanted to pin me also
couldn’t be there as well. I feel so bad because I feel like I’m being
ungrateful to the people who helped me get to where I am right now,
people who wanted this for me as much as I did if not more. I know
they’ll probably never see this, I know they’ll probably never
understand why I felt the way I did today all because here, I don’t
let anyone in. Everyone of my friends and family I am grateful for
because I’m able to escape from my cold exterior. Today made me
realize how much I miss you all; today I came to the full
understanding that I feel free when I’m around all of you. It’s the
beginning of friday… Sunday is right around the corner… Thanks for
everything.
Love,
Lester
Month of Thursday update: mad props goes up to @x3meimei for sending me tea, kava root, and pocky. thas right; pocky, son!!!!!!
just listened to Up and Up Acoustic noDRM by Relient K on @Grooveshark: http://tinysong.com/8TXU
